In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
