dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
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I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
we should paint friendship bongs
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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