these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
