She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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