I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
