1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
