would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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