I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
