is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
as a side note pls kill me