Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
a victory without nudity is not really a victory