chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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