i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
