You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
