Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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