When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
