If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My hand turned me down
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just forgot I was standing up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
