i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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