Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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