Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
