I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
