Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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