i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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