you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
