yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
