Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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(716): View more from New York

just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.

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(773): View more from Illinois

she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable

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(949): View more from California

you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots

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(813): View more from Florida

There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.

(701): View more from North Dakota

You're so thoughtful.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.

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