It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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