sarcasm needs its own font
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
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He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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