Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
