Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
