i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
