Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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