We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
