she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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