it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
where does the pee come out of this thing
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
