i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
