My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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