Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
