Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just sent this text using only my big toe
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
