oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
