And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
