haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
