Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
