nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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