Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
