i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
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Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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