hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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