Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The ass gains better be worth it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
