every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
