hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
