I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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