Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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