my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize