he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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