i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize