it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize