wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
