At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
