ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
