Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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