I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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