One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
