summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sext me about skeletons
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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