dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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