VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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