I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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