did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
