Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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