Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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