We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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