She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
tell me about the eggs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
