I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
