You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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