I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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